Despondentrage
There really should be
a German term
for sad and mad; a portmanteau
for this unblessed union
a balance of
despondentrage
these last months
the sundial of my attention
shifted and slanted
never in shade for long
you were irradiated
a rose-gold lustre
now this void
from pursuit to retreat
where hurt goes to hide
and what was given is shut away
a silence as powerful
as any words
that were cupped in a hand
over you.
Koi
A somersaulting fish
in the rib cage
when I see you turn the corner
briny and reddish-gold
thrashing
it flips high
wanting to vault
to reach you
pearlescent scales
shedding disc by
half-moon disc.
Tu me manques
In both languages
I miss you
and
you are missing
from me.
I am a glass
an X-ray
a stuttering
out of order
and denial is the pea
beneath mattresses
stacked ceiling-high
the keen nub
tearing a hole through
sleep.
About the author
Thuy On is a freelance arts critic/journalist of Vietnamese heritage who's written for a range of publications including The Age, The Australian, Books+Publishing, ArtsHub and Australian Book Review. She is also the Books Editor of The Big Issue. Photo by Leah Jing.