Lipstick Stains

He looks like
Lipstick on a coffee cup
He looks like
Daisy chains
Like
New stiletto blisters and
Grass stains on Oxford shirts and
Eyeshadow swatches from Harvey Nicks
When you’ve only got
£25 to your name

The first time we kissed
Our matte lipsticks didn’t budge
So we traded brand names
(Beauty Bakerie for ABH)
That night we tried on each others clothes
(He looked good in green fur)
And I knew that every date
Every love
Every midnight chippy
And borrowed Pride flag
Every broken promise
Every faded dream
They’d all brought me there
To that moment
To my charcoal jumpsuit
And his red velvet booties
And the feelings
We didn’t have words for
It seemed impossible
The way out minds
Finally went quiet
We could speak freely
And cradle each other till morning

That summer
We pretended we were kids again,
Climbed up trees that reached to the sky
Wove flowers into the kinks of our hair
He touched me like I was made of orchid petals
Called me a hanging garden
Then laughed when I couldn’t get down

For over a year
We were forever leaving
Pieces of ourselves behind
His auburn wig in my bathroom
My edge control on his vanity
We traded highlighters like kisses
Swapped secrets like fashion tips

Today he’s wearing old jeans
And I am overdue an infill
I buy him coffee
Double espresso
No sugar.
We look at each other
Silent and loving
We’re done
Done trying to keep this dead man walking
There is grief to be felt
Pain to spill onto
Bus seats and pavements
And unlike Wednesday night dinner
Or Park Run
Or buying house plants from Aldi
We can’t do this together
We hug
He leaves
And I look for the lipstick stain
He’s brought me to the next moment
And it will require
Ghana braids and lip gloss

About the author

Maz Hedgehog

Maz Hedgehog is the bi fat British daughter of Nigerian immigrants. Her work draws heavily on fantasy and oral storytelling. Maz has previously been published in Last Bench: An Antivirus Publication, headlined That's What She Said by For Books Sake and will soon publish her first poetry collection as part of the Superbia Chapbook Series.