My name was my name before
I walked among the living
before I could breathe
before I had lungs to fill
before my great grandmother passed
and everyone was left to grieve
My name was birthed from a dream
A whisper from gods to a king
A shout into the stars that produced
another that shone as bright
They held me without being burnt, humming lullabies in pidgin
My name was passed down from my
ancestors
They acknowledged my roots grew in two
places
So, they ripped my name from the ocean
and mixed it into the bloodlines of my totems
My name has survived the destruction of worlds
and the genocidal rebirthing of so-called ones
It’s escaped the overwhelmed jaw of the death bringer
Many a time
It has survived the conflicts that resulted in my gods,
from both lands, knowing me as kin,
but noticing that I am painfully unrecognisable and lost
They are incapable of understanding
the foreign tongue that was forced on me
My name has escaped cyclones and their daughters
It has been blessed by the dead
As they mixed dirt, salt and liquid red,
into my flesh
My name is the definition of resilience
It is a warrior that manifested because of warriors
So, excuse me as I roll my eyes or sigh as you
mispronounce my name
over and over again
Or when you give me another
that dishonours my mother and father
That doesn’t acknowledge my lineage to my island home
or the scents of rainforest and ocean foam
You will not stand here on stolen land
and whitewash my name
For it is two words intertwined
holding as much power as a hurricane
Say it right or don’t say it at all
For I am Meleika
I will answer when you call
Cover image by Paul Gauguin [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
About the author
Meleika Gesa-Fatafehi is a proud Black/Indigenous, Pasifika and West Asian writer. Their mob is from Murray (Mer) Island, from the Zagareb and Dauareb tribes. Meleika is also a literature and film critic; you can find her rambling at Endless Yarning, RadioNZ and NerdyPoC. She loves talking about all things nerdy, as well as decolonising spaces online and in real life.